Infidelity has been an age-old debate. It should be. Infidelity has damaged souls and integrity more than one can imagine. However, the narrative shifts when it comes to gender. For men, predominantly ‘physical infidelity’ becomes a monstrous ‘deal breaker,’ while for women, it is ‘emotional infidelity.’ Emotional infidelity is worse. It gives you unrepairable shocks, traumas that stay with you — typically, emotional infidelity is the ‘grey’ part that we often miss out on. And yes, emotional infidelity is worse.

A very sincere discussion that Twinkle Khanna brought to light on her talk show Two Much, co-hosted with Kajol, has now reignited this age-old conversation in a contemporary setting. In the latest episode, joined by Karan Johar and Janhvi Kapoor, the four stars debated the complexity of love, compatibility, and infidelity in modern relationships.

During a segment titled This or That, the guests were asked whether love is essential for marriage or if compatibility is enough. Twinkle and Janhvi argued for love, insisting that it’s the foundation of any lasting relationship. Kajol and Karan, however, disagreed, claiming that compatibility ultimately outlives love. Kajol rightly pointed out that “Love is the first thing that ceases to exist once you get married if you don’t have enough compatibility.” Karan, echoing her sentiment, added that marriage eventually demands much more than love — it requires understanding, patience, and shared goals.

The conversation took a sharper turn when the question of emotional versus physical infidelity arose. Here, the generational divide became visible. Janhvi, representing a younger perspective, held her ground that physical infidelity is a complete deal breaker. The others — Twinkle, Kajol, and Karan — disagreed, calling emotional betrayal the greater sin. Karan admitted candidly, “Physical infidelity is not a deal breaker,” to which Janhvi instantly retorted, “No, the deal is broken.”

Twinkle’s response carried the weight of experience and age. She said, “We’re in our 50s, she’s in her 20s, and she will get into this circle soon. She hasn’t seen the things we have seen. Raat gayi, baat gayi (what’s happened, has happened).”

Her remark sparked reflection on how life and longevity in relationships alter one’s perception of betrayal. Twinkle has been married to Akshay Kumar since 2001, and Kajol to Ajay Devgn since 1999. Both women, having navigated public scrutiny and personal challenges, now speak with the realism that long marriages teach — that sometimes forgiveness, forgetfulness, and perspective matter more than perfection.

Kajol summed it up beautifully in another interview, saying, “The secret to a happy marriage is partial deafness and selective amnesia.” Perhaps that’s what this debate truly reveals — that infidelity, like love itself, isn’t black and white. It’s grey.