The Girl On The Train(Netflix)

Starring Parineeti Chopra, Kirti Hulhari, Adito Rao Hydari,Avinash Tiwary

Directed by Ribhu Dasgupta

Rating: **

The biggest suspense for me was not whodunit(so don’t worry, no spoilers ahead). But whydunnit? Why oh why did Ribhu Dasgupta see the need to remake what was a middling thriller with a stand-out central performance by Emily Blunt as a trainwreck of a woman whose judgment we can’t trust.

Turns out , director Ribhu Dasgupta’s judgement sucks even worse. There is no point to this remake that relocates the original thriller from New York to London and then proceeds to make some horribly misguided radical changes from the original which I can’t reveal because if I do, Parineeti Chopra will kill me. Having survived this remake I want to live some more. Hopefully the next Bollywood whodunit will get right and won’t barter the fright for the trite.

I sensed something going wrong from the start of this 2-hour ‘whydunnit’ when five minutes into the narrative a shaadi song showed up. Coy glances, wriggly hips , the works. Emily Blunt must be choking her popcorn. It was a reminder of more indigenous moderations in the original script which was about a a woman on the skids drinking herself silly and making a nuisance of herself in other people’s lives .

This poor remake takes itself too seriously with red herrings scattered across the unruly chaotic pandemic plot like confetti in a room filled with a wild party of revelers who wake up the next morning wondering what they did, and to whom. Worse still are the endless explanations… oh Lord, every move is explained in case the audience misses the point. And I still say this is a pointless remake.

Parineeti Chopra starts on a shaky note but gets confident eventually . Not her fault when her pregnant character is given dialogues like, ‘Mujhe Bachchan chahiye, bachcha nahin”

Her husband’s reply to this: “What’s wrong with Amol Palekar?”

Huh????

Save your head-scratching questions for later. The film will give you ample opportunities to ask…. why why why???? When the dialogues are not cheesy in their originality they are corny translations of the original. A sample: “Do you think tumne ussey hurt kiya hoga?”

I understand these are Indians in London. But no one talks like this, anywhere. Parineeti Chopra,God bless her brave soul, ploughs through the incoherent remake trying to keep her sozzled stumbling character on its feet. Another bright(and brave) performance comes from Kirti Kulhari as a cop at Scotland Yard with a turban and a dark secret. Aditi Rao does what she is good at: look pretty. The male characters are all drug dealers, philanderers, killers and extortionists. Avinash Tiwary as Parineeti’s husband infuses some brio into his inert part. He might as well have saved himself the effort. This remake is DOA.