Some people decide to freeze up and construct a wall or barrier between themselves and the overwhelming issue at hand when faced with a marital crisis. This response could be deliberate or unconsciously occurring. Such an answer is known as stonewalling. Stonewalling may cause a significant split in the connection, which can lead to a great deal of marital distress, discord, and turbulence. The individual stonewalling also suffers since they are depriving themselves of emotional contact with their partner. Even while stonewalling harms relationships, partners can try to get through it.
If you are in a relationship with a stonewaller, you can use the following techniques to improve communication and cope with your partner:
1. Acknowledge the feelings of your partner
You should be aware that while you are not at fault for your partner’s actions, stonewalling commonly happens in response to severe criticism or contempt. You’ll understand that it’s essential to acknowledge the behavior and let the individual know that it isn’t the best course of action when selecting how to respond to stonewalling.
2. Recognize you are not the ‘fixer’
If your spouse shies away from conflict, you could feel that it is your duty to bring up the subject or resolve the issue when it arises because you don’t trust them to do so.
3. Avoid attempting to change your mate
When your spouse refuses to budge, you could clarify that the objective is to modify a behavior that isn’t good for the relationship rather than to change who they are. Develop communication strategies that won’t contradict or be critical of your partner.
4. Go for a couple therapy
A relationship won’t likely work without collaboration and communication, therefore you need to locate the right tools to rewire old communication patterns. Couples counseling may be helpful in this situation.
Source: Pinkvilla
